No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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