doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
