A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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