Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
