chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
