We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
