it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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