she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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