I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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