I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
