Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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