4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
