she kept yelling 'call me bella'
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
