Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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