how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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