Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Damn victory sex feels great
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
