winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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