I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
