Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
