I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
