I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
