Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Randomize
