College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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