Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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