I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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