I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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