Already got asked if we're dating
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
