Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
