Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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