pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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