i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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