Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
