I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
