Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
