My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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