there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
pray to the hookup gods
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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