Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
