i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I love having hate sex.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
