I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
