how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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