never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
