hell yes lets make some ravioli
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's shark week go big or go home
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
