last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
