Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
True strength comes from lack of pants
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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