dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
