I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
