No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
