i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
