hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
