My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
