'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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