all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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